what I remember

Colleen Higgs

Stories of crocodiles
stored in a drawer
the smell of paraffin
a buried sheep near the swing

I'm Mary Poppins - its a high wind
I need someone to hold me down
keep my feet on the ground

The mirrors in the house
reassure and disturb me
not ever the same story, not even
in the same minute
my body lets me down
in the mirror
the story of my body changes

I don't remember the kitchen
I don't remember my bedroom
I remember the dining room
and being able to read little red riding hood
all the way through

this is your life now
this is your life now

He's not my daddy, I say, teeth clenched
good as gold

the crow wakes her up
from her endless afternoon nap
"will you kids shut up -
I'm trying to sleep"
the crow pretends not to hear

The sheep died from eating mulberry leaves

She always sleeps in the afternoon.

Years later she phones me on weekends
I hear my name ricocheting around the lawns
I run to the phone


What does she say?
I don't remember.
What do I say?
I don't remember.

Here spring is a lot like winter
except for the blossoms
Sunday birds sing in congregations

Goat emotions -
I'm here. You're there.

My body is never silent
takes nothing lying down

I see a woman sitting with her back to the wall
I see a dusty village where the wind blows
the people who live there
poor as dust
poor as clouds, wind, and dune vygies

I see a man ride past on an old bicycle
the bible in his socks
and hymns rolled up in his pockets

Halfborn Woman

LitNet: 21 October 2004

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