Away

Abigail George

I have a secret to tell you with my mouth cupped to your ear
You are as inescapable and permanent as the moon
You black dog as black as night, a ball cold, cryptic
Of mass destruction
As restrained as the sunlight that prettily dissolves
In the pink sky requiring no assistance like a dangerous,
Terrifying aphrodisiac or futile labour from physical witnesses
You are as untouchable as the death of loneliness.
 
Destination anywhere – the night is over
I am by the time I finally get to you saved and transfixed
Will all my mercurial rituals be translated and resolved?
Shut out the noise, shut in the light, consequence, copycats
compared to African deities, mother-tongue, absolution,
the sun, the safety of numbers, of fixed independence.
I have once and for all shut out all tension and conflict.
I am now as intelligent and interesting as ever.
 
You make me feel
What are you waiting for? Where are you gone now?
I’ve been watching you for what feels like forever
Captivated by your youth, sensitivity, your future,
Promise, level headedness, by your feeling, example
Of personal triumph, beastliness; your art and habits
in love and hate bewitching and demanding.
My outrage is a thin black line.
 
Silence has become a relic
The pills have disappeared into thin air
All my life this waiting-game has been fine and exhilarating
When you finally return
No direction has sparked a change or transformation
In me; only now your silence instructs me, it strikes
a peace of mind, the ghost world that was once there
before vanishes in a blur, I am transfixed by the ether.
 
Your tenderness is refined, undeniable
I am brooding and terrifying; I abandon
and idolise you cautiously like glass within your boundaries
While you find my company amusing and appear to be relaxed
We are alike in more respects than one, you devil, awesome and direct
Your staying power is inspiring and calculated
Your solutions terrify me, my resolutions do not stick.
You appear to be for the first time what you do not seem.
 
Please do not yield to metaphysics, decay, silence,
You miraculous, complicated terrible scar
Will I succeed? Will this black smile survive?
You have never let go, ranted or rivalled me
When morning comes I am a reborn goal-orientated extremist
Please never leave, nothing compares to you
You have replaced the intelligent occupation of the sun
Finally through common sense you are dismissed, we are through.

LitNet: 23 August 2006

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