Ways of bringing up children and child behaviour in Sinxo’s book, Umzali Wolahleko

In this article Cima analyses the ways to parent children, as demonstrated by Sinxo in his book. Cima recalls the traditional Xhosa methods and observes that Sinxo has been strongly influenced by Christianity. In Sinxo’s book children are trained only by their parents - the participation of other people is seen as interference.

Cima looks at the role of the grandmother — both the traditional role of a grandmother as an educator, and Gakhulu’s role as a distant observer and uninvolved critic.

Cima investigates the incorrect manner of bringing up children adopted by the main characters, Nojaji and Menzile, and looks at the outcome of their child upbringing. He observes Ndopho, the spoilt child, and Ndimeni, who is ill-treated by his stepmother. His father ignores the ill-treatment. Sinxo’s final solution is that the spoilt children should die in the end and the ill-treated child should grow up to be a responsible adult. Cima finds an explanation for this conclusion.

Uqeqesho nesimilo sabantwana kwincwadi kaSinxo ethi, Umzali Wolahleko

Ukuqeqeshwa nokubunjwa kwesimilo sabantwana yinto ebalulekileyo kuzo zonke izizwe. Uqeqesho athi umntwana alufumane kwikhaya lakhe ithi ibe luncedo kwisizwe sakhe. Nengqeqesho athi ayifumane naye apha ekuhlaleni ithi ibe nendima enkulu nebalulekileyo ethi iyidlale apha ebomini bomntwana njengokuba ekhula nje. Ukuba umntwana uthe akayifumana le ngqeqesho yabazali nale yesizwe kuye kuthande ukubakho amagingxigingxi apha ebomini bomntwana. Le nto ke inokubangela ukuba isizwe naso sizibone sesonakalelwe kungenjalo sikwenkulu ingxaki. Nalapha kule ncwadi kaSinxo ethi Umzali Wolahlekoumbhali usikhanyisela ngendima efanele idlaliwe ngabazali nesizwe ekuqeqesheni nasekukhuliseni abantwana.

Apha kweli phepha ke sizakukhe sixoxe malunga nendlela uSinxo abona ngayo olu qeqesho noku kubunjwa kwesimilo sabantwana kule ncwadi yakhe ithi Umzali Wolahleko. Xa sixoxa malunga nolu qeqesho lwabantwana ndithanda ukuba sithelekise le ndlela uSinxo asizobele ngayo ingqeqesho kule ncwadi yakhe nengqeqesho ebe ifudula isenziwa kwaXhosa. Kaloku indlela ebekukuqeqeshwa ngayo mandulo ayisafani nale yale mihla yangoku.

USinxo uluzobe apha olu qeqesho lwabantwana kanye ngale ndlela yaseNtshona apho ufika ingabazali bomntwana kuphela abathabatha inxaxheba ekukhuliseni nasekuqeqesheni abantwana babo. Kaloku nendlela le alizobe ngayo ikhaya nomtshato kaMenzile noNojaji yile yaseNtshona apho sifumana umzali ebabanga abantwana bakhe kuba esithi akanakuqeqeshelwa ngabanye abantu ekho yena. Kwakhona kolu qeqesho lwaseNtshona sifumanisa ukuba akukho masiko enzelwa abantwana ukuze bakwazi ukumelana neemfuno zesizwe. Konke ke oku siza kukufumana apha kule ngxoxo.

KwaXhosa fudula kuyinto ebalulekileyo nesemthethweni ukuba abazali babaqeqeshe abantwana babo kuba ikhaya lomntwana lalifundwa kwisimilo nakwindlela aziphethe ngayo umntwana lowo. Kwakusithi ukuba umntwana uthe akabi nasimilo ekuhlaleni ufike kunyenjwa ikhaya elo aphuma kulo umntwana ngokungakwazi ukululeka. Zininzi ke iindlela umntwana aqeqeshwa ngazo kwintlalo yethu maXhosa. Ezinye zezi ndlela ke uSinxo naye uthe wazivelela kwezinye iindawo nangona eshiye ezona zingundoqo apha ebomini bomntwana. Kungenzeka ke ukuba uzishiye kuba efuna ukuphuhlisa into ethile.

USinxo kule ncwadi yakhe usibonisa ukufadalala kwengqeqesho kubazali. Uthi aluchanabe olu fadalalo ekuyekelelweni nasekufekethisweni kwabantwana. Olu yekelelo ke kule ncwadi silubona phaya kubantwana bakaNojaji. UNojaji indlela le abaphethe ngayo abantwana bakhe ubaphethe kanye oku kwamaqanda, akafuni okokuba bachukunyiswe okanye babethwe ngomnye umntu. Oku ke sikubona xeshikweni uNdopho abethwa nguNquphephe umlingane wakhe, uNojaji usuke atsibeleke aye kubetha le mfama engabuzanga noba ngubani na oqale omnye. Nendlela le athukisela ngayo kuNquphephe ithi icace mhlophe ukuba yena akahoyanga kuqeqesha umntwana womnye umntu kuloko ukhusela nje abakhe.

Abantwana bakaNojaji abazange baqeqeshelwe ukuba bakwazi ukuziphilela, kuba akukho msebenzi bakha bawenza. Iintombi zikaNojaji kaloku zazilala imini yonke kungekho nto ziyenzayo. Ukutsho oko ke uSinxo ubazobe aba bantwana bengaqeqeshwanga ngokwasesimilweni, bengafundiswanga indlela yokuziphatha phakathi kwabantu, bengenantlonipho nambeko kubantu abadala yaye kungekho msebenzi bawaziyo wasekhayeni. USinxo ke olu yekelelo ulubona nje apha ekukhuleni komntwana ngeli xesha kanye kufanele ukuba ufundiswa ngalo.

USinxo ke nanjengambhali wesiXhosa nebekulindelekile ukuba usityhilele apho abazali baphose khona ekuqeqesheni abantwana babo kule ncwadi, bekufanele ukuba indima yamasiko abantwana uyivelele kuloku usuke wakhetha ukuyityeshela. Amasiko la abaluleke ngantoni apha ekuqeqesheni nasekululekeni isimilo somntwana njengokuba uSinxo engawaveleli nje?

NgokwakwaXhosa ingqeqesho le sisithethe ekufuneka singehlukaniswanga kuphele nesiko. AmaXhosa athi abenzele amasiko abantwana ukuze bakwazi ukuphila ubomi obububo. Njengoko ke senditshilo ngaphambili xa bethe abenzelwa la masiko kuthi kubekho into ethile engamhambeli kakuhle umntwana njengokuba ekhula nje. Kuninzi ke okuqulathwe yingcambu yobuzwe babantu abaNtsundu. Bekuthi kwakufika umntu omtsha (usana) kwelo khaya enzelwe isiko lembeleko. Uthi uNdungane “iinjongo zokwenzela lo mntwana eli siko kukumazisa akhuseleke naye.”Iinkonde zakowethu xa zingqina oku zithi “eli siko limi, lithi, kufuneka kwenziwe into epheleleyo ukuze lo mntwana alime kakuhle eli lizwe.” Ukuba ke eli siko lithe alenziwa ngoku umntwana aselula liya kubuya lona liziphendulele lithi “Ndilapha” nokuba umntu sele wenda okanye wafilisha. Apha kule ncwadi yakhe ke uSinxo asiboni abantwana bakaNojaji besenzelwa eli siko okanye umbhali akasichazelanga nokuba benzelwa kusini na. Le nto ke ingenza ukuba silikhuphe litsole elokuba aba bantwana bakaNojaji bekhangeleka bengaqeqeshekanga yaye bengenasimilo nje kungenxa yokungenzelwa eli siko.

Isiko lembeleko ke linemfundiso enkulu apha emntwaneni ngaphandle kokuba limkhusela kuphela. Xa kwenziwa imbeleko ayibi ngabantu belo khaya kuphela nabasekuhlaleni baba khona kudibene izinyanya zamakhaya ngamakhaya zifuthe lo mntwana ukuze akwazi ukumelana nezinto ezenziwayo ngabantu beso sizwe nenkcubeko yabo. Uthi xa ayibeka ngolwimi lwasemzini uC. Ikonne (1992) “the social gathering of people in birth rituals helps the child in adopting the social cultural and moral customs of that particular society”. USinxo ke uthi aba bantwana bakaNojaji abazange balufumane olu futhamelwano okanye olu futho lwembeleko. Yiyo le nto bengkwazi ukumelana nentlalo yesizwe sabo. Abazange bamkelwa kaloku ngamakhaya nasisizwe besakube bezelwe.

Xa siphawula apha ngentla sifumanisa ukuba baninzi abantu abanendima abayidlalayo apha ekukhuleni nasekuqeqesheni umntwana ngaphandle nje kweli khaya labantu ababini lichazwa nguSinxo. USinxo uyayiqonda yaye uyayazi indlela abantwana abebeqeqeshwa ngayo kwaXhosa nangona enefuthe lobuKristu nje. Ngokweembono zakhe yena uSinxo ulubona iluxanduva lwabantu ababini (abazali bomntwana) ukuqeqesha nokoluleka umntwana. Nangona kunjalo uMenzile simbona engenawo la mandla okuqeqesha ngenxa yokuyekelela okanye yokuva nokoyika umfazi wakhe. Loo nto ithethe ukuthi luxanduva lukaNojaji kuphela ukuqeqesha abantwana. Olu hlobo ke loqeqesho lolu lwaseNtshona apho umzali othe wanamandla angaphezulu kunomnye ithi ibe nguye obaqeqesha abantwana ngendlela afuna ngayo nethandwe nguye. Nantso ke le nto isenziwa nguNojaji kuMenzile kule ncwadi ithi Umzali Wolahleko.

USinxo ube nobuchule bokusibonisa ngaxeshanye ingqeqesho yabantwana ngokwale ndlela yaseNtshona nangale yesizwe esiNtsundu. Umzobe uNojaji nabantwana bakhe bamela le mpucuko yaseNtshona ukanti uGakhulu noNdimeni wabazoba bamela impucuko yamandulo yethu maXhosa. Kudala kwaXhosa umakhulu wayesesona sikolo sokufundisa nokululeka izimilo zabantwana, ebatsweba xa bonileyo. UGakhulu ke asiboni ndima ayidlalayo apha ekuqeqesheni abazukulwana bakhe uyekele kuNojaji. Iimfundiso zakhe ngoku sele izizishwabulo kuphela. Njengamzali ke naye uGakhulu ubeba angazama ukubaqeqesha abazukulwana bakhe kuloko ubesamelwe ngumthwalo wokuqeqesha uNojaji noMenzile. UNojaji noMenzile singatsho ke sithi ngabo abantwana abangaqeqeshekanga kunina wabo uGakhulu.

UNdimeni ke yena njengomntwana omele eli cala labaqeqeshekileyo nonembeko simbona engoyena uthandwayo nguGakhulu nasisizwe siphela. Ukanti ke asingoNdimeni yedwa umntwana uSinxo amzobe wangumntwana oqeqeshekileyo, nabakaJomsini baqeqeshekile yaye benembeko. Le nto siyibona phaya kuNoshumi intombi encinane kaJomsini xeshikweni uNdimeni wayecholwe nguyise efuna umsebenzi. Lo mntwana sibona nendlela le wayemphethe ngayo uNdimeni xa wayegula ngamandla. Wayemonga oku kosana ide ibe ngathi wonga umnakwabo. Babeqeqesheke bonke abantu beli khaya beyihoyile le nto kuthiwa ngumhambi.

Eqeqeshwa nje umntwana kwaXhosa kungenxa yokuba nguyena urhangqe iziko lobomi bekhaya kungenjalo isizwe jikelele. Uthi uIkonne xa ayibekayo le nkcazo ngolwimi lwasemzini “the child occupies a central position in the life of the family in particular and the society in general. Le ngcali ke ithi luxanduva lwesizwe nabazali ukuqeqesha abantwana.

Isimilo somzali nendlela aziphethe ngayo zithi zibe nendima eziyidlalayo apha emntwaneni. Ukuba abazali abanasimilo nantlonipho kubantu basekuhlaleni kulula ukuba naye umntwana wakhe afunde loo nto ayibona isenziwa ngumzali. Le nto siyibona isenzeka apha ku-Umzali Wolahlekokwiintombi zikaNojaji. Ezi ntombi ziye zamfuza unina zakhohlakala kanye njengaye. Athi amaciko “unonkala xa ahamba ekekele namantshontsho akhe okekela alinganise yena.”

Ukumohlwaya umntwana yenye yeendlela zokuqeqesha kodwa umzali okwaziyo ukuqeqesha umohlwayela isizathu esibalulekileyo umntwana, kwaye umohlwaya nomntwana azibone ukuba wonile. Indlela ke uNdimeni abesohlwaywa ngayo nguNojaji ayibonakalisi zimpawu zabuzali kuNojaji. Ubemohlwayela into engenasizathu nede ibonwe nanguNdimeni buqu. Naxa wayelwela uNdopho ebethwe nguNquphephe, sithi esi sibini sisakuye sivane simenyelise uNojaji ngokungena izinto zabantwana.

Ukuphatha kwakhe kakubi uNdimeni uNojaji singatsho sithi wayevukwe sisikhwele nasikhwele esabantwana. Kaloku ngokwale mihla yale mpucuko yasentshona isithembu asisavumelekanga kuba umntu obhinqileyo ufuna ukuhoyana nendoda yakhe yedwa nabantwana bakhe bodwa kungabikho wumbi ecaleni.

USinxo ke uphinde asichazele ukuba umntwana othe waqeqeshwa uthi nokuba selede wohlwaywa kangakanani na ngumzali azazi apho anokubalekela khona kuba amakhaya omntwana maninzi. Kukho awakulonina, kukho awakuloyise, kooninalume, oodadeboyise njalo-njalo. UNdimeni naye ke apha uthe akugxothwa nguNojaji noyise wazazi apho makabalekele khona kwaninalume. Kulapho ke athe walufumana khona ulonwabo noqeqesho. Amanye amasiko uthe wawenzelwa apha nendiqondayo ukuba abe nendima yawo ayidlalileyo kuqeqesho lwakhe. Uninalume kaloku uye wamolusa kuba kaloku eli nqanaba kulapho inkwenkwe ithi ifumane khona iziyalo zobudoda, kulapho ithi iqeqeshwe khonukuze ikwazi ukumelana namanzithinzithi obomi. Amazwi awawafumanayo uNdimeni xeshikweni esesuthwini nangexesha lophumo lwabo athi amomeleza yaye amkhuthaza malunga neenzima anokuthi adibane nazo njengokuba ekhula nje.

UNdopho unyana kaNojaji asiboni ezifumana yena ezi mfundiso zasesidodeni. USinxo uvele wasichazela nje ukuba uNdopho wabuya neqela lakhe eRhawutini boluswa ngooyise kuba becinga ukuba baya kujika esimeni sabo. Kuba kukho inkolo ethi “inkwenkwe isakube yalusiwe ithi itshintshe ithi eza zinto ibizenza ngokuya ibiyinkwenkwe iziyeke ngoku yenze izinto zobudoda. USinxo akasiphelisanga esi simo sooNdopho besakube bephumile esuthwini babuyele kundalashe. La makhwenkwe asiva eyalwa wona apha kweli siko njengoko sele sichazelwe ngoyalo olwafunyanwa nguNdimeni kwaninalume. Into ethetha ukuthi aba bantwana banoNdopho bayekelelwe ngabazali babo ngokungababonisi into elungileyo nengalunganga. Kaloku athi amaXhosa “amazwi ayamakha umntwana”.

USinxo ubabona uWeziwe noLiziwe bengabantwana abangaqeqeshekanga kuba kaloku zonke izigqibo zokwenda kwabo babezithathela ngokunokwabo bengadlulanga kubazali babo ingakumbi kuyise wabo. Indlela ke uSinxo abazobe ngayo aba bantwana bakaNojaji ithi ibenze amaxhoba okungaqeqesheki ngokwembonakalo yabo apha encwadini. USinxo ke uthi aba bantwana abaqeqeshekanga kuba bengabaphulaphuli abazali babo. USinxo uye wamenyelisa uNdopho kuba efuna ukuphuhlisa oku kungaqeqesheki ude amzobe esithi xa athetha noyise “Hayi kaloku khehle.” Le nto kaloku ibonakalisa indelelo ekhoyo kubantwana beli xesha likagesi ngabula Gakhulu. UNdopho ubenga angathini ke xa akhule engazange asiwe sandla nguyise kwaye kungazange kukhe kuthiwe makabahloniphe abantu abadala kunaye.

Kungumdla kakhulu ukuphawula ukuba esi sihloko ndixoxa ngaso apha sokwaphuka nokuqhwalela kwengqeqesho kwincwadi kaSinxo ethi Umzali Wolahlekokuthi kanti nabanye ababhali bayivelele le nkalo. Umzekelo woku ukule ncwadi kaMtuze ethi UDingezweniapho sifumana ukwenzakaliswa kwenkwenkwana luyekelelo olukhoyo kwingqeqesho yomnye wabazali bayo. Ezinye ke iziphumo zenguqulelo ezifana nezo zikaSinxo ziyabonakala nakwincwadi kaBongela ethi Alitshoni Lingenandaba. Apha uDora noRubin baphela besehlelwa yingozi yemoto nto leyo eyaba kukufa kukaDora. Ukanti uRubin yena uphela ekwesimnyama isisele edontsa iminyaka entolongweni. Nalapha ke kukwafadalale le ngqeqesho kubazali. Asingobantwana abangaqeqeshekanga kuloko abayifumani ingqeqesho kubazali.

UJolobe yena uthi xa eluchaza olu yekelelo ekuqeqesheni “Umzali ohilizela uqeqesho kubantwana bakhe sukuba engazithandi yena loo mzali.” Ingaba na bonke abazali babantwana abakreqileyo kwisimilo esihle bebengazithandi? Ukuphendula le ndawo kubalulekile siqonde ukuba iimeko ezintsha entlalweni zifuna amacebo amatsha okuzihlangabeza. Umntu isimo sakhe asidalwa luqeqesho kuphela koko sidalwa naziimeko ahlala phakathi kwazo. Iimeko ke aphile phakathi kwazo uNdimeni ehamba ebetheka zithe zanamfundiso kuye, zamqeqeshela ukuba makakwazi ukuziphilela azinyamezele iinzima neentlungu zobomi. Nokuba umzali seleqeqesha kangakanani na, ukuba iimeko asizizo ezimncedisayo noqeqesho olo, imigudu yaloo mzali iya kuwa phantsi kumaxesha amaninzi. Le nto ke siyibona isenzeka apha kuMenzile kule ncwadi ithi Umzali Wolahleko. UMenzile ubeba uyafuna ukubaqeqesha abantwana bakhe koko akanamandla okufezekisa le minqweno yakhe.

USinxo lo singatsho sithi yimboni, namboni ekufutshane noMqulu oNgcwele kuba eli bali lakhe kule ncwadi lingqina amazwi aseBhayibhileni athi, “Lisakusondela ixesha lokuza koNyana Womntu eze kugweba abahleliyo nabafileyo bophela ubudlelwane phakathi komzali nomntwana, kungabikho kuhlonelana phakathi kwabo. Ukukhohlakala kukaNojaji kwazosulela mpela iintombi zakhe. Ngokwenkangeleko yabo ke aba bantwana singatsho sithi babengadalelwanga ukuba babe nezimilo ezibi koko zenziwa ngabazali babo.

USinxo eli bali lakhe ulijolise kumqeqeshi womntwana nekulindeleke ukuba ambeke umntwana endaweni elungileyo. Umzali walo mntwana ke uthi athathele kubantu bentlalo ukuze akwazi ukuqeqesha. Umzali ke ngoko sisitena sokwakha isizwe. Ecacisa le meko uIkonne (1992:127) uthi,

Since the child of today is the adult of tomorrow, it becomes exigent that he/she should be brought up in a manner that makes it possible for him/her to fit in the society, and his/her parents must be the building blocks to fulfil that process.

USinxo uneempawu azibekayo apha nezithi isizwe zisenze ukuba sikhule. Into ethetha ukuthi uSinxo lo uyayiqonda into yokuba umzali emqeqesha nje umntwana sukube eneenjongo ezithile nezithi zibe yimfuneko yesizwe. Kuba isizwe sifuna ukukhula umntwana uthi alungiselelwe ukuhlumisa eso sizwe. Ungundoqo ke umsebenzi wabazali wokukhulisa nokuqeqesha umntwana. UNojaji naye ke kule ncwadi ubeba uyabanceda abantwana bakhe ntonayo ubanceda engajonganga izinto ezifunwa sisizwe ubanceda ngokweemfuno zabo. Umzali onje ngoNojaji uthi angaziboni naxa ezi mfuno zabantwana zimfaka ankathazweni.

USinxo umzobe uNdimeni wangumntwana ofunwa sisizwe kuba sineenjongo ezithile ngaye. USinxo ke kuba emthanda lo mntwana uthe wamphumelelisa kwimizamo yakhe yiyo loo nto simbona sele engusomashishini owaziwayo ekupheleni kwebali ethandwa sisizwe sonke nangabelungu. Njengoko sekutshiwo ngaphambili ukuba uSinxo unalo ifuthe lobuKristu uye wababulala abantwana bakaNojaji ngenxa yokungaqeqesheki kwabo. Esi sohlwayo ke ngokukaSinxo sisohlwayo abasifumana ngenxa yokuba baphule omnye umthetho kwimithetho elishumi eyabekwayo eBhayibhileni kwincwadi yeEksodus othi, “Beka uyihlo nonyoko ukuze yolulwe imihla yakho emhlabeni.” Akayolulanga ke naye uSinxo.

Esi sohlwayo abanika sona uSinxo sikhangeleka siqatha ngokuthi ababulale ngokungathi bazenze ngokwabo ukuba bangaqeqesheki ukanti bayekelelwe ngabazali babo, abangayidlaliyo inxaxheba yabo njengabazali. Oyena nobangela woku kungaqeqesheki kwabantwana uSinxo uye wamshiya akambulala. Yintoni ke isizathu soku? Njengoko nesihloko esi sencwadi sisithi, Umzali Wolahleko, uSinxo ubenyanzelekile ke ngoko ukuba angambulali uNojaji ukuze azibone iziphumo zokulahleka kwakhe ngokuyekelela angabaqeqeshi abantwana bakhe. Ngokwenza njalo ke uSinxo ufuna ukumvisa iintlungu. Kwakhona ndingatsho ndithi uSinxo emgweba ngolu hlobo nje uNojaji kungokuba efuna ukubuyekeza iinyembezi zikaNdimeni noGakhulu. Olu hlobo lwesigwebo sihambelana namazwi aphaya kwincwadi kaMateyu (7:1-2) athi, “Musani ukugweba ukuze ningagwetywa nani, kuba ngogwebo enithi nigwebe ngalo niya kugwetywa ngalo nani.” La mazwi acatshulwe phaya kwincwadi kaW.K.Tamsanqa ethi, Inzala kaMlungisi kwisahluko 11, kwisihloko esithi, “Ukubuyekezwa kweenyembezi zikaSiphiwo” (Tamsanqa, 1954:51).

Xa sijonga ke noMenzile uSinxo uthe wambulala. Uthi uSinxo uMenzile ubulewe ngabantwana bakhe. Andihambisani nale mbono yakhe kuba abantwana abenzanga nto, nguye uMenzile ozibuleleyo ngokungakwazi ukuqeqesha abantwana bakhe nomfazi wakhe nokungamameli unina wakhe uGakhulu xa amyala ngolu yekelelo lwakhe. Ikwanguye uMenzile ozibuleleyo ngokukhohlakala kwakhe akhohlakalele umntwana wakhe amzalayo uNdimeni avumele uNojaji ngokugxotha lo mntwana. Umzali onje ngaye ke simfanele esi sohlwayo.

Iincwadi ezisetyenzisiweyo

• Ikonne, C., O.Emelia noO.Peter. 1992 Chilren and Literature in Africa. Ibadan: Heinemann Educational Books.
• Mtuze, P.T. 1996 Amagqabaza Abafundi Ngoncwadi LwesiXhosa. Pretoria: Kagiso Publishers.
• Ndungane, T.A. 1992 Ubungcambu Bobuzwe. Umtata: Shuter & Shooter.
• Tamsanqa, W.K. 1954 Inzala kaMlungisi. Cape Town: Oxford University Press.

phezulu

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