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Why can’t I get married?


“We are subjected to as many atrocities the human mind can conjure up,” writes Vaandré de Lange.

I am part of the new generation witches and the witch hunt is well on its way — the gay hunt. Since burning us at the stake is not an option any more, we are subjected to as many dreadful atrocities the human mind can conjure up. We see our closest and dearest die in violent and inhumane bashings. We are subjected to ridicule, outright rejection, vandalism, corrective rape and various forms of discrimination. We are considered as being insane, sick, the origin of HIV and seen as sub-species. We are pedophiles by default and categorised in the same breath as bestiality. If that is not enough, we are denied our basic human right to live.

Our “defect” is considered a choice and curable through various methods including shock therapy, exorcism and mind altering drugs to name but three. We have endured scientific experimentation, imprisonment and even being sentenced to death. All these things form a part of our daily life — a day in the life of a gay person. Who in his right mind would subject him/herself to this lifestyle by choice? To spite all these efforts to push us out of society, our group is growing by the day. We are here to stay. We will never go away.

Since we are the minority we have little or no chance to defend ourselves against the onslaught of the uninformed, brainwashed masses. All we can do is cry out and scream: “Foul!” in the hope that somewhere out there, there will be someone level-minded enough to understand. Someone who understands that I did not choose this life but it chose me. Since I could start remembering, I had those same feelings a heterosexual male have towards women, but just for men. As a child I rejected those feelings but it never went away. You can not reject your very being. No matter how hard you try. Have you tried rejecting your heterosexual nature? Do you think you would be able to “cure” it?

I do not consider myself to be any of the above labels people so comfortably like to stick on me without even knowing me. Instead they have made me stronger and more determined to correct these misconceptions and atrocities. There was a time in this country’s history when even the masses were dominated by the minority rule, so I am filled with hope that there might come a day when peace between all types of people will be the order of the day. Live and let live seems to be an unreachable goal but it will always be something I aspire for.

I am tired of being the victim of heterosexual insecurities. I have done nothing to deserve their wrath. I have never broken any law. I contribute as much (if not more) to this society as anyone else. I was raised with impeccable morals and came from the same womb all of us do. I do have hopes and dreams and I have been living in a committed lifetime partnership with another male for the past 9 years. I do love and I do have feelings. I am human. No less, no more than anyone else.

Why can’t I get married? Because heterosexuals say so? Am I a threat to their existence? Am I perhaps the optimization of their worst fear? That dreaded fear that their child might turn out to be like me?

I have abstained, gone for therapy and have been prayed for in the hope to become “normal”. To spite all my efforts, I have not succeeded in becoming the person the world wants me to be. Instead they wounded me and left me with scars that will never heal. I do not want to get married to prove a point. I want to get married because I claim the same rights which any heterosexual have without even asking for it. It is easy to deny someone a right if you do not know how it feels not to have it. My love is no less sacred than theirs. My commitment and loyalty towards my partner are no less than any heterosexual example you can show me. I simply want to be recognised as a human being.

To spite all these things I still do love this wonderful world and ALL the people in it. Relentlessly I will keep on crying out until that day finally arrives when each and everyone gets granted a place in the sun. Nobody will ever be free until all of us are free. This is my time to rise to the challenge and try and make this a better world for the next generation. I am up for the challenge until the day I die. Hopefully the next generation will be a more tolerant and wiser.

Greetings.



19 December 2003

boontoe / to the top


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